Should Kids Be Paid for Doing Chores? Or Is That Just Wrong?

Let’s be real — most of life’s lessons aren’t taught in school. You either learn them the hard way or by being thrown into situations where you have no choice but to figure things out. Like hostel life — you learn to manage your time, money, laundry, friendships, and emotions all by yourself. No one pays you to survive, but somehow you do. And that’s the kind of learning that truly builds character.

Now, here’s a thought — if household chores were paid jobs, would most men actually do them? Honestly, some might, but let’s be honest — most wouldn’t. They’d still wait for someone else to do it. And that’s where it gets interesting.

People are quick to blame mothers for raising “raja betas” — boys who never had to pick up after themselves. And yes, sometimes that’s true. But not always. Some mothers do everything right — they teach discipline, empathy, and responsibility — and still, their sons grow up entitled. You can’t blame a mom for how her adult son turns out forever. She’s not raising him till he’s fifty.

Then there are men who stay humble no matter how successful they get. They’ll do their basic chores, stay grounded, and respect the work that goes into keeping a home. That too is upbringing — the kind that sticks.

Now let’s talk about girls. Most girls grow up doing chores by default. They’re taught early on to help around the house, manage things, and be responsible — not because anyone pays them, but because it’s expected. And that’s the difference. Girls learn survival skills early because society gives them no choice. Boys, on the other hand, often get a free pass — and that’s exactly the cycle I wanted to break with my son.

So yes, I pay my son for chores. Not because I think household work should come with a price tag, but because I want him to understand value. It’s not about the money — it’s about the mindset. He knows that in real life, no one’s going to pay him to clean up after himself. That’s just being a functioning human.

Of course, this whole concept isn’t one-size-fits-all. It totally depends on the family, the child, and the kind of environment they grow up in. Some kids don’t need this allowance system at all. They naturally join in when they see their parents working around the house. That’s motivation enough for them — and those kids often learn about money through monthly allowances or small budgets, learning to save and spend wisely.

That’s a great method too. It works beautifully for some families — just not for all.

But no matter which way you do it — whether through pocket money or earning through chores — what kids are really learning is how to manage money. They start understanding that effort has value, that money doesn’t magically appear, and that saving, spending, and even waiting for something teaches patience. When handled right, it’s not just about buying a toy — it’s about learning decision-making, control, and the concept of enough.

Managing money early on gives them a sense of accountability — the same kind they’ll need later in life when the stakes are higher and no one’s handing them crisp notes for folding laundry.

The allowance-for-chores system, in my opinion, helps especially with the badmash ones — the kids (usually boys) who see everyone working around them but still don’t move a finger. For them, the motivation has to start somewhere. And if it takes a few rupees to get them started, so be it. Because once they connect effort to reward, it slowly becomes effort without reward — just responsibility.

At the end of the day, it’s not just about teaching them how to handle money — it’s about teaching them how to handle themselves. To understand that effort has value, responsibility isn’t optional, and being independent isn’t a skill — it’s survival. Not because someone’s watching, or paying, or forcing them, but because that’s what growing up right looks like.

I’m not trying to raise a boy who thinks doing chores is “helping” someone. I’m raising one who knows it’s simply being an adult.

So yes, I pay him for chores.

Not as a reward — but as a reminder.

That earning and responsibility can coexist.

That no job is beneath you, no effort goes unnoticed, and understanding the value of money goes hand in hand with understanding the value of effort. Because both — managing money and managing yourself — are life skills every human should grow up with.